MOURNING the dead used to have set rituals accompanied with sombre funerals.
However, now the death of a loved one is commemorated with seven-course meals, cocktails and mourners who are dressed to kill in designer clothes and shoes.
Families have put the “fun” in funerals and abandoned time-honoured rituals. A lot has changed over the years. Back then, burial ceremonies were sacred and treated with respect but now people are modernising almost everything about them.
When in the past food would be prepared by family members and what would be served would be ‘‘isitshwala’’ and milk or with cabbage that had no salt. Now there are hired catering companies that prepare all the delicious and fancy food associated with weddings.
Women have moved from having to wear decent black clothes and where they would cover their heads to fancy dressing that involves even wearing short and too-revealing clothes of all colours. At burial ceremonies, people were required to wear black to signify that they are grieving and that they had respect for the dead but now finding people in white or other bright colours is in style.
There are even photo shoots and after tears parties.
Gogo MaMhlanga (79) from Pumula South suburb said nowadays, burial ceremonies are mini-celebrations where people pleasure themselves and do a lot of social ills.
“When I was growing up, none of this happened. This generation has lost its morals and values for such sacred ceremonies. During a burial ceremony, no decorating team would be hired because we were not celebrating but these days it is required since people want to showcase and make it some sort of celebration,” said MaMhlanga.
She said in the past women would sit on reed mats known as ‘‘amacansi’’ during such ceremonies while men sat on benches but now everyone, the young and old, men and women sit on chairs and sofas.
“What is happening in this generation is shocking. Children, a breastfeeding or pregnant woman would not attend a burial ceremony but these days they all participate in the ceremony. At such ceremonies, food would be served with no salt or it would not be appetising at all because the main purpose would be to mourn and bury the loved one. People now aim and make it a point to attend the burial just to eat all the delicious food prepared,” she said.
Mandla Banda (52) from Hillside suburb said it has become a norm for people to attend burial ceremonies with different motives.
He said most societies are diluting the traditional cultures by adopting and copying Western ways of doing things.
“I have seen that at most burials women no longer bother to wrap a blanket over their shoulders or sitting on the mattress to grieve. Our generation has lost respect for the dead, people do as they please and they have various individual interpretations of how to conduct and carry out the burial ceremonies,” said Banda.
He said while women attend such ceremonies without covering their heads, men on the other side wear hats or caps during the service.
Banda added that there are cases where some women attend burial ceremonies just to seduce men.
“Burial ceremonies of nowadays have been classified according to how well attended it was. Whether there was enough and delicious food available, fancy cars, decorations or people or the quality of the coffin. There are popular terms that people use for this type of classification that say ‘‘imfa’’ or ‘‘iburial’,”’ he said.
Banda said ‘‘imfa’’ is the ceremony that is classified as one that would have not met the people’s expectations of classy things while ‘‘iburial’’ is the one where there would be all the glam. – The Chronicle
